How to Practice "Serve and Return" With Your Child

Everyday interactions can have a big impact on developing brains throughout childhood, starting even before babies can talk. Scientists call this Serve and Return. A child serves by showing an interest in something and the adult responds in a supportive way.

5 Ways to Practice Serve and Return 

1. Share the focus

When a child is interested or curious, you can see it. It could either be by pointing at something, or by making a sound, or by moving hands and legs excitedly, or simply by smiling.

2. Support and Encourage

You can return a child’s serve by saying a word of encouragement, for example, a full hearted thank you, or broad smile, or repeating the baby's motion, or bringing the object of baby's interest closer to them. Playing with a child and engaging them helps them to know that their thoughts and feelings are understood.

3. Name it

When you respond to a child's serve by naming what they are doing, seeing or feeling, you make important language connections in their brain. This happens before babies can talk or understand your words.

You can name anything - a person, a thing, an action, or a combination of all. When you name what the child is focused on, you help them build an understanding of the world around them and what to expect from it. Naming also gives a child words to use later in life.

4. Take turns back and forth

Taking turns helps children learn self-control and how to get along with others. Waiting is crucial; that is, when you return a serve, give the child a chance to respond. By waiting, you give the child time to develop ideas and build confidence and independence 

5. Observe endings and beginnings

A child dropping a toy may signify interest in playing with the particular toy, picking up another toy may signify the next beginning. Sharing the focus is important in this step.

When you do this, you notice when your child is ready to end an activity and begin something new.

When you can find these moments for a child to take the lead, you support the child in exploring their world and make more serve and return interactions possible.

Serve and return interactions are critical for a child’s developing brain, and the good news is that you can do it anywhere and anytime without any need for any toy or technology, such as when you are making a snack, doing the groceries, or on your way to work. What matters most is that you are doing most of these 5 steps! 

Serve and return interaction makes everyday moments fun and becomes second nature with practice. Try practising with a Well Child today!